Into the Land Down Unda( Melbourne) and What Goon Really is

Where do I begin... I’ve been slacking on my writing considering Australia has SO MUCH TO SEE AND DO and at points I truly do lack the motivation and inspiration to write out the series of unfortunate events I call my life ( sorry Baudelaire children I take the cake here, though no count Olaf involved). Sorry mom, friends, family.. People who actually take the time to read this, I promise to be much more vigilant in my writing.

I could begin with the copious amounts of time and energy I’ve put into getting my Australian TFN( Tax File Number) , the fact that at one point in Australia I had opened three banking accounts with all of my passport information under the pretentious names of one Sue Reed, One SaraH Reed, and then of course my actual name, but I think ill begin with Melbourne.

AHHH Melbourne, my first destination upon my arrival into the land downundaaaa. No extended airport security checks here folks. It could have been the fact that now I actually read the customs checklists after my New Zealand beef jerky experience (and decided to check off every item under the sun in order to avoid any further problems with immigration) or that Australia is just so laid back it isn’t even funny.

I get through security without a hitch, while thinking to myself this was made far too easy. No people it just actually was that easy no hitch, no deportation, and no beef jerky conspiracy concerns. I loved Australia at that moment already.

Now into Melbourne I went. Once leaving the airport you can do one of three things. Pay for a cab (sorry I’m a broke backpacker), phone a friend (but I don’t know anyone yet?), or your best and in most cases only bet, public transportation.

I opted to use the skybus, it cost around $20 and takes you right into Melbourne’s CBD. Once in Melbourne it would have been nice if some travel book or blog ( hint hint people) Informed me that Melbourne’s extremely accessible metro system is only accessible if one holds a MyKi. So after 30 minutes of wondering around the city like a lunatic I go into a 7/11 and fork over the $6 you pay for this plastic card and another $10 to get to my hostel.

Feeling slightly accomplished I was now onto the task of finding my hostel in St. Kilda.

I find it after 45 minutes of walking past it multiple times (considering it was on the side corner of a street). I get to Barkley Backpackers checked in, and made friends with some of the hostels patrons. Within just 25 minutes I was already invited to go and check out restaurant.

We go to Lentil As, awesome gluten free and organic restaurant where you literally pay the price of what you think the meal should cost. It’s based on an honestly system type of thing and If you really are low on a budget it’s a great place to get healthy food, but if you have the money you should pay the price you really think its worth ( I’d say at least $12 for a dish the portions are generous). * side note Lentil As has restaurants throughout Australia not just Melbourne*

After that I was eager to experience my first time with the ever so talked about Goon( boxed wine.. or so they tell you). Let me tell you the goon won. I had maybe 4 glasses of the stuff and was tanked. Like woke up the next morning doing the whole where is my passport, what happened, do I still have a cellphone type of thing( just kidding mom that really didn’t happen….)

After waking up at 3PM in the afternoon and realizing my day was indeed wasted , I decided to find out the meaning of goon. Though at that point I figured that Goon was the name because it turns it victims (myself) into a straight Goon. No come to find goon, which my friends is not boxed wine (and not even in the ingredients does it suggest there is even a grape involved in its production) is an aboriginal thing.

Now is where you will all get a history lesson in aboriginal slang (a very bad one forewarning). Goon comes in a box with a plastic bag; the plastic bag is then blown up by its drinker and used as a pillow in order to sleep off the drunkenness one will ultimately feel after drinking this devils juice. Goon has become a shortened name for pillow in the original aboriginal language. BAM there you have it a probably horribly explained description of where the origins of goon come from (you’re welcome)

After recovering from the night prior I figured why not challenge the Englishman in my hostel to a drink off ( of course best idea ever after having a hangover of death from the goon).

Needless to say I did indeed keep up by finishing 3 boots of Australian Beer, but I cannot count it as a victory considering after the second one I can’t recall finishing the third ( kidding once again mom.. it just makes for a better story).